i won't say that i love you
by Witch of Treats
Summary: Shindou had considered moving out of his apartment many times over before, mostly in order to relieve himself off the pain of having to share it with Tsurugi. But then, why hasn't he done it yet? / Set like ten years after InaGo!
1. Chapter 1

It's been about ten years since the Raimon soccer team members have parted ways after graduating junior high. Of course, all of them kept the memories, bitter or sweet, they'd shared – from Tenma's fateful arrival to their grim school, all the way to the end. Tenma had stayed at Raimon and eventually became its new soccer team's coach after leaving college.

Shindou had to admire such fierce loyalty. He loved soccer, he still did, but he had decided to pursue a musical career after all. He told his parents that he'd like to live on his own in a normal apartment, and not rely on his family fortune for once. Shindou had to learn to fend for himself since he was a grown man now, and not some wide-eyed youth that assumed every household had a butler to cater to all their needs.

Over these past years, Shindou became a maestro and professional pianist who was considered the new 'Mozart' of the century and savored his ever rising world-wide fame with an air of pride and satisfaction. He'd accumulated more than enough money to buy himself a nice, new apartment complex and leave this crampy one behind.

And yet…he chose not to.

"Shindou, we ran out of coffee."

Probably because of this flatmate of his.

"Go get it yourself." Shindou groaned into the palm of his hand, stifling a yawn that was threatening to come out. What time was it, again? He turned towards the wall clock and glared at the time shown on there; 8 AM. Way too fucking early. But he had forced himself to get up since he'd probably not be able to fall asleep again even if he wanted to. "Actually, screw that." The young maestro shifted his glare to the offending person standing in front of him. "Why didn't you get it before I even woke up? By the looks of it, you've been awake for at least one hour."

Tsurugi Kyosuke, coach and insufferable douchebag extraordinaire, smirked down at Shindou's sorry looking state and simply said, "Well, it's your turn to go grocery shopping. We're kind of low on other shit too, and I didn't feel like being nice to you today."

Shindou was rather glad that today's orchestral rehearsals were postponed, since he'd been just dying to get some free time among all this music composing and commissions and everything work-related. But of course, it had to land on a weekend when Tsurugi also had a day off. "How did you even survive without breakfast, Tsurugi…"

"I didn't." Tsurugi grabbed a box of Corn Flakes that was lying on the kitchen counter idly and waved it in front of Shindou's face. "Everything's gone now though, except for some vegetables and cans of beer. So if you don't feel like starving you better get goin', oh maestro Shindou."

The ex-captain of Raimon got up from their dining table in a flash and was this close to just punching that shit-eating grin off of Tsurugi's face, but he took one deep breath and regained his composure fairly quickly. "Remind me why I put up with you again." He mumbled and maneuvered outside of the kitchenette and into his bedroom. Tsurugi called out after him and the amusement and mockery was omnipresent in what he said, "Why don't you just move out then?"

Shindou slammed the door behind him shut and began ridding himself of his pajama clothes. Yeah, exactly why did he choose to stay with Tsurugi? Being around that guy brought him more frustration than anything. It's not that they couldn't get along; it's just that Tsurugi always chose to keep being an annoying jerk to him even after ten long years. Shindou stopped buttoning up his white shirt to think for a few seconds. Tsurugi's company wasn't short of really fucking borderline unbearable, but he didn't hate it. His mind trailed off to the fact that his best friend, Kirino Ranmaru was now living in France for God knows how long to pursue his fashionista's career. He still kept in touch with all of his peers and old friends but everyone was mostly busy with work and their own personal life. Maybe…Tsurugi was really the only person keeping him from feeling lonely.

Shindou ran a hand through his chocolate brown locks and frowned. Thoughts like this would flash through his head quite often, and each one of them would lead to a single blunt conclusion- if Tsurugi left he'd really be alone- just as if it was some kind of universal fact that he simply had to accept.

Fuck this. Shindou finished dressing himself and spared one last glance towards the mirror to check if his hair wasn't in complete disarray, finger-combing out a few knots here and there before smiling satisfyingly at his reflection. Perfect. He grabbed his wallet then absconded his bedroom, stopping in front of the living room where Tsurugi was now sprawled across the couch and absent-mindedly flipping through the TV channels. "Before I go and before you complain, is there anything you want besides coffee?"

Tsurugi turned towards the other man and just shrugged indifferently. "Nah, not particularly. Knock yourself out with whatever's on your list."

Well then.

"I should have dragged Tsurugi with me, the ungrateful bastard," Shindou mumbled to himself as he battled flights of stairs to get to his apartment complex. Of course the elevator had to be out, right when he was carrying about four equally heavy shopping bags. Of course his and Tsurugi's room was on the fifth or so floor. Of course, of course…

He fished the keys out and all but burst into the apartment once he got the door to unlock, dumping the shopping bags onto the dinner tablet after closing the door back shut. "Tsurugi!" Shindou called out to the other, already feeling pretty damn annoyed at the world. No reply came though, and he wondered where the hell the coach could be. Oh well, brushing off the trivial matter nonchalantly he started unpacking everything and putting the groceries in their appropriate places. That guy better be cooking dinner this evening to compensate for everything.

Shindou made himself a cup of good, hot coffee and made his way towards the piano in the living room. Yeah, playing a few pieces, be it his own compositions or famous sonatas and studies, never failed to calm him down. He placed the cup atop of the piano and sat down, fingers already brushing over the keys. Eventually, after filing through his archive of music sheets he settled for 'Ballade pour Adeline'. Readying both of his hands atop of the correct notes, the soft and beautiful melody soon filled the room and gradually dispersed through the whole apartment. Shindou's initial frown gave way to a serene smile as he relaxed to the music, accelerating the rhythm and increasing the volume when it was due. Fortissimo…sure brought memories flowing back to him. He let himself close his eyes and let his fingers dance across the keys smoothly, as he seemingly drifted to another world. It was just him, the piano, and the graceful, pure sounds of the song –

Tsurugi decided it was a very good idea to snap Shindou out of his trance by pressing a very low note and suddenly the harmonic synchronicity was shattered. Boom, thrown out of the window without a parachute, left to fall to its death. Shindou snapped his eyes open and turned to the left to glare at the other. "What," He demanded blandly.

"You've been playing that for a while. I could hear it all the way from the bathroom." Tsurugi had apparently just taken a shower, judging by the towel draped around his neck and for one, the fact that he was shirtless and standing right in front of Shindou like it was the most normal thing in the whole universe. Shindou sighed exasperatedly, rubbing the bridge of his nose because he really felt like he might be getting a momentary migraine at that moment. "It's 'Ballade pour Adeline', if you're oh so interested." Shindou got up from his piano seat and took a sip of the coffee he'd almost forgotten existed. "Can't you get a shirt over that thick head of yours? It's quite offending, having to look at your bare chest."

"Then how about you just don't look? Besides, it's my house, I do whatever I want." Tsurugi sneered, taking the towel and further ridding his hair of any remaining drops of water.

"It's my house too!"

Tsurugi just waved a hand at him as he disappeared off into his private quarters. Shindou stared after him, hands on hips, and before he could follow Tsurugi his cellphone started vibrating atop of the piano. Shindou picked it up - Kirino. Well, continuing to be frustrated at Tsurugi won't really help so he should thank him for calling at the right moment. "Hey Kirino, what's up?"

The voice on the other side of the line was kind of distorted with background noise, but at least Shindou could tell who it was. "Shindou! Look out of your window."

Shindou raised an incredulous eyebrow, even if the other couldn't see it, but his confusion probably showed in the way he uttered the following "What?"

"Just do it, your curtains are in the way."

Shindou took a few steps towards where the window was concealed by the curtains and pulled them out of the way, about to ask Kirino how he knew that when the answer showed itself in front of his bespectacled eyes in the form of a grinning pink-haired young man standing in front of the building and looking up at him. "Merry early Christmas, Shindou."

A grin of his own managed to creep onto Shindou's features. "Merry early Christmas, alright." He hung up and tucked his cellphone inside of his pants pocket before hurrying out of the apartment, ignoring Tsurugi's confused call as the coach exited his bedroom (he was fully clothed now at least, thank God, he didn't feel like explaining himself to Kirino). He was outside of the building in no time and held his arms out to give Kirino a crushing, friendly hug. How long has it been since he last saw the ex-defender in person? Five years? Way too long. Kirino had grown slightly taller and instead of pigtails he was now keeping his long hair in place with a single ponytail. Living in France and being a fashion designer shaped him up quite a bit style-wise, if the flamboyant clothes he was wearing were any indication. "Jesus, Kirino, what are you doing here?" Shindou said after finally letting go of his friend. The other just flashed him a smile. "I should have told you I was gonna stay in Japan for a few weeks, but I didn't really want to ruin the surprise."

Shindou lead the other male up to their apartment as they chatted about what's been going on in their lives lately. Apparently, Kirino had made himself quite popular already around Paris, and that popularity was to spread nation-wide pretty soon if he continued on the right track. He also had a trip to Italy at one point and met up with Nishiki, who was now a proleague player. Shindou told him about how his orchestra will be playing at the opera pretty soon and that Kirino should come and watch. Their joyous chattering was interrupted as Tsurugi opened the door for them, avoiding hitting Shindou in the face by just an inch. He blinked at both of the shorter men before smiling, maybe smirking. "Yo, Kirino-senpai, it's been a while."

Kirino smiled back at him and waved his hand. "No need to call me 'senpai' anymore, Tsurugi, we're no longer students."

Tsurugi made way for the two best friends to enter the apartment and let them continue their conversations as he maneuvered inside the kitchen to brew some tea or something. Shindou was a fanatic and knew which brands were good, at least. Last time Tsurugi tried getting tea Shindou had chastised him for getting the cheapest and thus the worst kind there was in the shop. (Tsurugi really didn't notice the difference. Damn aristocrats.) While that was happening, Shindou and Kirino were sitting in the living room, still catching up to the latest events.

"Also, since when did you start wearing glasses?" Kirino suddenly asked; leaving a break in their perfectly coherent line of conversation, which took Shindou slightly aback as he self-consciously readjusted his spectacles. "Uh…since a few months or so. My eyesight kind of got worse after I started composing music pretty much every night. I only wore them for reading at first."

Kirino rested his chin atop of the back of his hand, studying the rather foreign accessory perched on Shindou's nose. "Well, it doesn't exactly suit your frame if you ask me. I mean, dark-green doesn't seem to suit you altogether." Shindou frowned slightly at those words, taking his glasses off and looking at them closely himself. "I just grabbed whichever was at a reasonable price, I guess. What's wrong with them?"

"For one, I think that rectangular glasses would highlight your eyes better than oval ones and—"Tsurugi came into the room with a tray of tea and snacks, cutting off Kirino's ramble. He set it onto the table and made himself comfortable on the couch next to Shindou. "I didn't know France and a major in fashion designing could change a man this much, you sound like one of those girls on TV." Shindou wanted to say something in Kirino's defense, but he only managed to snort a bit. Kirino only shot Tsurugi a blank stare before saying, "I think that you should get a new mouth. One that isn't rude, maybe it'd suit your facial proportions a bit more."

All three of them burst out snickering after a few seconds. Suddenly it felt like they were all teenagers again, laughing at the dumbest things and generally just joking around. Shindou had missed those times.

"So, are you gonna tell anyone else about your spontaneous return?" Tsurugi asked.

"That's a given. We should invite everyone to some fancy bar and get a private room to ourselves! I kind of really missed everyone."

Shindou nodded. "That can be arranged, I think. I'm pretty sure everyone would love to see you again. It'd have been perfect if Nishiki could be here too."

"Perfect for Midori, especially." Tsurugi threw in, smirking into his cup of tea. It was no secret that the two have been maintaining their relationship even when they were separated by thousands of miles. One should admire faith like that.

"Are you staying anywhere? You can always stay here if you want to." Shindou offered, but Kirino politely declined him. "Nah, I'm already all set in a hotel. I don't really want to get in the way of you two anyway." He winked at both of them and Shindou couldn't help but groan while Tsurugi only snorted at the pink-haired male.

The rest of Kirino's stay stretched on until the afternoon; the trio didn't do much except for watching a few movies (not without Tsurugi pointing out certain flaws and making fun of them), eating lunch and listening to Shindou play one of his own creations on the piano. They planned on meeting up with everyone tomorrow at 7 P.M. when no one was, luckily, busy.

Tsurugi had grumpily agreed to cooking dinner when evening crept in, leaving Shindou sitting at the table and watching the coach run around the kitchen as he juggled between tasks like cutting vegetables and being careful as to not overcook or burn anything. Served the bastard right, Shindou hummed contently to himself. At least Tsurugi was a decent enough cook.

"Hey Shindou." Shindou looked up from his bowl of rice to stare at Tsurugi sitting on the other side of the dining table with a raised eyebrow. "Hm?"

"So you and Kirino aren't a _thing, _right?"

Shindou could only look blankly, as if he didn't comprehend what exactly Tsurugi had meant and he didn't hesitate in voicing that out, "What? No, we're just friends. What the hell was that for?"

Tsurugi only shrugged and continued wolfing down his portion, speaking up again with a full mouth, "I don't know, you two seemed already pretty close in junior high. Assumed you were dating 's all."

Shindou shook his head and couldn't help but laugh lightly, out of disbelief rather than amusement. Neither of them spoke after that, though. He wondered why the hell Tsurugi would bring a question like that out of nowhere. Shindou dismissed himself, tossing his bowl into the sink and reminding a protesting Tsurugi that whoever cooked dinner also normally washed the dishes.

Time to go back to his unfinished pieces and wait until tomorrow…


	2. Chapter 2

RaspberryDevil: aaaaaaaaah thank you! ;_; it makes me really happy when someone says something of mine is wellwritten since i hardly ever write in my past time omfg. and ah i do admit that i omitted the team tsurugi was coaching u 7 u;; its mostly because i wasn't sure which school hed be at, but now that I think about it, he would make a good trainer/co-coach in raimon!

Anon: thank you! and i do admit that my summary is whoa okay rushed. i guess its really bad then if someone noticed that i didn't actually put that much effort into it haha! ; 7 ;||| i totes forgot to change it. ive been meaning to, so thanks for pointing it out for me!

anyway, this chapter is rather short imo and im sorry u-u theres also some (rather non-explicit) mature content ahead jsyk!

* * *

Fortunately, every single one of their old friends managed to come to this popular club just a few buildings away from Kirino's hotel. Shindou, as promised, reserved them a private room without any difficulties. He and Tsurugi were the first ones to arrive, while everyone else slowly filled in either in groups or pairs. (Hayami, however, came a bit late. Late and covered in pink feathers to boot, probably fresh out of the zoo he worked at)

Everyone was delighted to see each other again. Normally, their work would get in the way so big hangouts like these were reduced to holiday parties most of the time. They chattered on about everything and nothing, and even Tsurugi seemed to enjoy himself, although he hid his smiles and occasional grins behind his mug of beer. Tenma and Aoi pointed that out and promptly began teasing him about it.

Barely more than an hour has passed, and some of them were already intoxicated by their alcoholic beverages. Although the loudest ones were arguably Midori (who was on the verge of stripping, but luckily Akane was there to restrain her) and Amagi (who was crushing poor Hikaru in a one-armed hug, although one might argue if he wasn't just being his usual boisterous self). To Shindou's bewilderment and eventual annoyance, Kirino also ended up drunk shortly after and he was either flirting up a storm with anyone within a one foot radius of him (Sangoku) or talking about things Shindou questioned the authenticity of ("Haha, God France was so awesome, I banged SO many chicks because it's Franceeee. Oh God I'm so DRUNK right now you _big_ _fat _piano playing SISSY!"). It wasn't long before the fashion designer got up from his place and declared that it was 'King's Game time!'. The ones who stayed sober could only either groan or look confused. Kirino began explaining the basic concepts of the game, his words slightly slurred at the end of each break he took.

"Okay so, basically what you get is chopsticks, the same amount as there are people playing. Each chopstick has a number written on it except for one, that has a crown or whatever drawn on it. Whoever gets the crown chopstick is declared the 'king' and they get to pick a number or numbers and say what the chosen people have to do." He stopped for a second to snicker, half to himself. "But no one knows who has which number until the king gives their order~!"

It went to hell from there. Midori drew the King chopstick and Shindou knew that they were doomed from the get-go. She commanded number seven to stick their hand down number two's pants without breaking eye contact (for the record it was Kurama and Minamisawa respectively). The rounds kept piling up and the dares ranged from quite minor to extreme as fuck. Eventually, it was Shindou's turn to suffer as he was forced to chug down a full mug of beer without stopping. Great, his plans of staying sober were utterly obliterated. His throat burned like hell and he swore tears were welling up in his eyes when he was done.

Dammit.

"Numberrr…three has to give a lap dance to number one."

Shindou was about to get up and leave when Kurumada just had to take only a few seconds to come up with a dare. He glared at his chopstick just to be sure—number one. He glanced over at Kirino who was batting his eyelashes at him, waving the number three chopstick around. Some people were already laughing and catcalling, and one of them actually put some Korean song Shindou vaguely recognized on their Ipod for some extra measure. Shindou just sighed exasperatedly, covering his face with both of his hands as Kirino marched up to him and slowly straddled him. And he actually did sort of feel like crying at the moment, out of drunken emotions rather than anything. He had a hard time looking Kirino in the eyes, so he'd occasionally shoot glances here and there, and about everybody had a kick out of the show Kirino was giving them (even Akane was fiddling around awkwardly with her professional camera, wondering if it'd hurt to take just a few photos). When did he learn to dance like this anyway? This was something Shindou would have to think about later or better yet, forget.

He could notice Tsurugi staring at Kirino when the latter was done with his little spectacle, with this something in his eyes that Shindou couldn't exactly put his fingers on. At that time, he just brushed it off and before anything else went out of control for the umpteenth time this night, he told everyone that he was leaving a bit early. Asides from a few 'boo's, no one really objected.

The maestro sauntered off the clubhouse and stumbled out onto the streets, shivering at the cold, January night air. Maybe their next hangout should be completely alcohol-free, Jesus. He called a nearby taxi over and as he got on, he was about to close the door when someone from outside stopped him and entered the vehicle with him uninvited.

"Wh—Tsurugi…?"

Tsurugi shut the door and crossed his legs, curtly telling the driver their destination. Only a few seconds afterwards did he say anything to the still confused Shindou, "Just felt like going home, too. It was getting too loud for me."

The rest of their trip home passed by in silence, and the moment Shindou paid for the ride and got out of the car the only thing that went through his mind is how much he just wanted to go lie down somewhere and let sleep take over him. That sounds about really fucking amazing right now, god, he didn't handle alcohol well at all. He hated how Tsurugi managed to act sober and hold all of his shit together, even when he drank more than Shindou.

"Good fucking NIGHT, Tsurugi." Were the last words Shindou had uttered after he stumbled into their apartment and walked toward their living room, where he flopped himself over the couch with a groan. Fuck going to his bedroom, anything at all could work at this point. Tsurugi only followed him calmly after locking their apartment door, sitting down on the couch arm. "You sure you don't want to wake up in the morning in your bed?"

"I told you good fucking night Tsurugi."

"I'm not deaf."

"Then stop acting like you are and let me sleep." To his contentment, Tsurugi shut up after that. Though, Shindou felt like his head might explode from how it was pounding, which quite frankly prevented him from being able to relax. Tsurugi decided it was a good time to speak up again and it took Shindou's brain a second too much to register what the other had said.

"How did you feel tonight about Kirino's…stunt."

There you go, Tsurugi being interested in Shindou's feelings for his best friend two times in a row, something definitely was up. Shindou didn't really care though, so he just shifted around on the couch so that he could properly stare at Tsurugi. "Why do you want to know?"

"I don't know, you just disappeared right after that happened. I thought you twisted your panties in a bunch over that or something."

"No, it's not because of that…" Shindou tried sitting up since his current position was getting kind of uncomfortable, but Tsurugi for some reason decided to halt his movement by placing a hand on his shoulder. "You still didn't answer me, did Kirino make you feel especially uncomfortable or…"

Shindou had no idea why Tsurugi decided to trail off like that, right there. He had no idea why Tsurugi was suddenly so concerned about his emotional well-being and to be frank, it confused and annoyed him at the same time. "It's none of your business. It was all just a game anyway, what's wrong with i—"

"It IS my business!" Shindou flinched as Tsurugi's nails dug through the thin fabric of his shirt into his skin. The brunette's eyes widened just slightly at Tsurugi's spontaneous and irrational outburst, and more so at how angry he looked right now. He had no reason to be, so Shindou just blamed it on the alcohol finally taking a toll on him. He and Shindou actually nearly never had serious fights nowadays, even if they bickered plenty.

"Tsurugi…?"

Tsurugi seemed to catch on his weird behavior since his features softened just a bit, but instead of letting go of Shindou he actually pushed him back down onto the couch and before Shindou knew it, both of his hands found themselves pinned over his head. The coach was looming on top of him and staring him down with half-lidded eyes like a so called predator, and Shindou couldn't help but squirm around uncomfortably. "Tsurugi what the ever loving **hell **are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"You're drunk."

"So are you."

"That doesn't legitimately justify anything—" Shindou's words were promptly cut off as Tsurugi lowered his head to apply his lips on Shindou's neck, which made the maestro gasp and jolt as if he was struck by electricity. "Tsurugi!"

Shindou could only panic as the man on top of him didn't cease his actions, and only seemed to intensify them. Tsurugi bit down hard enough to break the skin and draw blood, but he then liberally ran his tongue across the mark. This was getting bad. Really bad. Shindou somehow managed to get both of his hands free and he communicated just how bad he thought this was by shoving Tsurugi off of him as harshly as he could. "Jesus fuck, Tsurugi, what is the meaning of this?"

He could have ran away without saying so much as a word, ran into the safe abode of his bedroom and locked himself there for as long as he could, but he didn't. He just leered at Tsurugi and demanded a good fucking explanation. Tsurugi only got closer to him again and grabbed both of his wrists and just _stared _at him with those piercing amber eyes of his. "Care to find out, genius?"

The sentence was slightly tinted with sarcasm, but Shindou knew that Tsurugi was dead serious about what was going to happen next. He didn't want this, but at the same time he couldn't bring himself to protest much. He blamed it on the beer and the fact that was exhausted, but deep down he knew it wasn't the case.

It was rather hazy from that point onwards, but Shindou had eventually decided that "Fuck this, just…I don't care anymore" and went with the flow. The next thing he knew, he and the other were on a bed, having lost their shirts somewhere along the trip from the living room to the nearest bedroom. There was a part of him that said that this was wrong and his first time shouldn't end up being like _this._ But it took Tsurugi to just move his hand down – oh.

_Oh._

That was it, Shindou threw all remaining reason he had within his mind out to rot and let his own hands fumble with Tsurugi's belt. Their last articles of clothing were shed after some time, and Shindou practically lost his mind over Tsurugi's ministrations. He's never been this close to someone before, let alone the person he at least partially despised. It smelled like alcohol, sweat and raw uncontrolled desire and it wasn't supposed to feel so _right _but it did. Shindou knew that this was wrong and blearily noted that he probably won't be able to handle the crippling regret that'll inevitably fall over him afterwards. But this was now and he concentrated on Tsurugi and Tsurugi only.

What a joke this all is, Shindou thought.

It didn't prevent him from enjoying what was happening as much as he could though. They both froze and they uttered out their last moans, their climax sweeping through them; a flame that had been building up inside only to be released as a wildfire. Shindou realized that he's been clinging to Tsurugi for dear life and he slowly unwrapped his arms from the other's neck. Tsurugi also reluctantly pulled away and promptly collapsed right next to him. No one said as much as one word.

It didn't take too long for both of them to fall asleep.

* * *

Shindou felt, for the lack of any formal vocabulary at this time of the day, like complete fucking shit the moment he woke up.

He groaned, reaching his hand out and groping about on the nightstand for his glasses. Is this what it's like to be hung over? Shindou couldn't comprehend how anyone could even last through this process. Memories of yesterday's hang-out slowly returned to his mind – King's Game happened, right? He could remember a drunk Kariya doing something to Aoi, and Hamano singing an Irish drinking song with three other ex-teammates of his and…

Oh.

The fact that Shindou was stark naked suddenly hit him like lightning, and he could only grow progressively panicky as _other memories_ filled him in on why this was the case. He whipped his head towards the other side of the bed just to confirm that it didn't happen, it didn't happen—

It happened.

Tsurugi was also already wide awake and staring at him, slightly wide-eyed. Shindou could only gape stupidly before the cogs inside his brain started working again and he blubbered out some pretty incoherent sentences, "I-I Tsurugi, I…"

"No. Stop talking."

Shindou blinked at that. Tsurugi was already getting off the bed and picking up his discarded clothes, rather hastily despite the apparent splitting headache he got from drinking so much last night. "Tsurugi, wait—"

"Look," Tsurugi breathed as he pulled his pants up, not even bothering to button them. "Just. Just forget it. I'm so fucking sorry, Shindou, God. Pretend that never happened, okay?"

Before Shindou could even so much as say a word, Tsurugi was out of his bedroom in a flash. What was that all about? Tsurugi starts things and suddenly tells him to forget it like it was such an easy task. Shindou wanted to forget though; he was predictably beginning to regret everything that went down.

Tsurugi was probably going to stay locked up inside his own bedroom before heading out or something, but Shindou didn't feel like quitting his room at all. Instead, he curled up under the safe haven that was his blanket.

And waited.

Waited for all the guilt and disgust to just…vanish from his mind, even if only for a bit.

* * *

edit: i just felt the need to say that the korean song someone (probably hamano) put in the background is either 'high high' or 'fantastic baby' by gd+top/big bang

because ive been listening to that while writing that part (and for the rest of the story for that matter lololol)


End file.
